Sunday, May 7, 2017

Holding grudges in our belly

I've been thinking of how Icy and the puppy both went after those they hated just before they died and gave enormously to those they loved. Either the inhibitions go down (fear of retaliation) or the poisonous thoughts (memories to be acted on) come up for review or.

It explains the Scrooges who cut those who they hated out of their wills in a last act of spite and revenge.

It's a sobering thought. If nothing else we must forgive: and understand that these grudges are carried in our belly as we go through life. The ineffectual protest to petty cruelties we endure because we don't want to deal with the bullies build up am emotional life of their own. The frustrations, hatreds are all waiting for expression in our last days. There's no avoiding it.

I've been trying since the realisation to forgive all the old wrongs - Sangitha for her hubris, U aunty for her ingratitude & mockery, even shopkeepers for annoying or cheating me! I don't want them to drag me down in my last days.:)

A solar day to die

I extended the solar cycle by 2 days last month as a season end (that's how it corrects every so many months) & make it 26 days, though 28-29 days last year.

I'm wondering if it's right this time because of this:

If I'd kept it uncorrected, Icy too died on the same day as the puppy and Gunda and so many others of distemper.

It seems to be a peak day in the cycle. A good day to die? The 8th day in the solar cycle. Not sure why!

Something to prepare for so we can help animals past it.