Monday, January 9, 2017

The end of this road

My guides have just said that this old guy should be euthanized.:(

I can see a new gangrenous patch on the other side, healing fast, but the guides say I don't know enough to heal him completely. I only need to find a kind vet who'll come home and euthanize him.

He's been with me for a month and there's a very slow but sure decline, even though he's eating well he's not gaining weight, his stools are varied and not regular, but more damning is the gangrene/ulcers that heal only to reopen on a different side.

Maybe like the guides say, there's too much organ destruction to rebuild. Maybe this is why they didn't want me to write about him all along - it was all too little, too late from the get-go. I was only beginning to understand the solar-diabetes connection. I still don't get the blood circulation-sun, digestion-sun and the lymph (probably moon) connection.

I've asked if insulin injections will help or maybe even chopping of the gangrenous portions but it's from the hip joint down on one side and the knee on the other. What life is left for the poor creature after all of that is gone?

Every solar storm makes him weaker. It's inexorable.

This time, because of the lack of movement, his age and gangreneI have to admit I can't see *how* he'll heal back to where he'll have a life again!:( There should be something to save and he is bright and cheerful a few days but the lack of movement had been too much and for too long.

It goes against everything I believe to give up on life by projecting the future, but how can I save an immobile dog from gangrene? I'm despairing.

The Bryonia 3 has brought back some movement but it will fade like the last time. The spine is sclerosed with little synovial fluid. My guides are right in that I'm only slowing but not reversing the disease.

I'm not strong enough in healing or chi to do what needs to be done. And the solar shenanigans aren't helping. The winds are buffeting the planet and even the healthy ones are just surviving it.

Today for the first time he's sleeping on his side, rubbing his face into my hand, being affectionate. Tomorrow I'll probably have to ask around for a vet to end his life. Give me strength. Or give me hope.:(

They've given me two months to find a vet.

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