Friday, December 9, 2016

Leaving them alone

I feel like I've spent a lifetime just learning to leave animals alone..

I was so much into rescue and rehab and rehome in the first portion of my life. I made so many unhappy adoptees just to keep them warm and fed.

The second portion of my life was getting rid of the notion of human support. I'd just stick to  feeding them where they were, but still the very young and very old and sick I'd take with me, either to vets and home, or shelters and vets. Unnecessary, cruel and fatal for most. But I comforted myself with having tried. Like all animal lovers do. Poor comfort for the soul.

In the third portion of my life, I've left most of them alone, only treating them and feeding them where they are until they die. This was the hardest and I'm still struggling with it. I still rescue the very young, abandoned kittens but with cats they grow up into independence (like Ginger) unlike puppies. I've returned many dogs to their home territories and just today it struck me that even that was wrong, in a fateful way!

Dancer who had run away, I picked up and returned home to her usual haunt thinking she'd got lost. She died (disappeared with a stranger presumed dead) a few weeks later in a vehicular accident. What if she'd moved location to avoid that and might still be alive if I'd just fed her in her new location or even left her alone? It's a shocking question that I have never asked myself before.

I returned Blackie from another area he'd run away to after the forced vax. Within a week of bringing him back, he was picked up by a couple of do-gooders and by a miracle came out of the NGO alive and was not euthanized. Probably my scathing phone calls, but it was close.

Maybe there's the breath of Death on them that they feel and can change a little by moving on.

I remember the old Sweetie went off to the bbmp office from my home and I brought her back thinking she'd lost her way. She died two weeks later of pneumonia. Maybe it was a premonition. Like oldiefattypuppyguy, brought him back 3 times. Vanished. For years later I explained Sweetie's move away by thinking she'd gone to say goodbye to her old friends. But what if she would have lived on if only I hadn't enticed her back??:(

White three-legs after 2 rescues simply vanished within hours of being brought back home. Two dogs of his gang were run over that week by a careless driver and died in agony I'm told. Maybe he saved himself by his determination to see the world. It has puzzled and grieved me for so long that those rescues were failures. Maybe he's well, elsewhere.

It boggles my mind but thinking in the reverse, how many dogs and cats that I've settled into new locations by just feeding them have come so nearly dead and have had  extended lifespans since! I didn't know where they were from but with a couple of homeopathy remedies and regular food once a day, so many dogs and cats have come alive again.

Maybe they escaped the web of death by changing location? I've only been so proud of saving them and settling them down, that I've never given it a thought.Police girl, foxy, majestic, ruby, Elsie, all her pups and their pups,  the I-exp 4, the diners 3, the new Red, raja, Rani, Gcat, so many more. They moved, they lived longer lives.

I'm resolved now to follow my guides advice and not relocate or rescue any (except tiny kits maybe)! Not even those that change location, no matter how much I've bonded with those souls. If they're on my route I feed and heal them. If not, I let them go with my blessings and not worry or search for them. My guides constantly tell me this and I thought they were heartless.

They know what they're doing deep down.

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