Thursday, May 19, 2016

Senile anxiety and my lost dog

Oldiefattypuppy is missing since 5 pm yesterday during the rain,18/5. Looked for him all morning. The streets are full of prestorm runner dogs - saw 5 with inflammations, 3 collared. No sign of my poor oldie. I put the word out, but I don't hold out much hope. Rains in Chennai, Sri Lanka headed this way.

My guides say not to look for Oldie that I won't find him and this is the kind of thing that makes me mad at them. How can I not look for him? I keep imagining my blind fat cutie being run over, bullied, scared out of his skull... Callous creatures.

Being senile and getting lost is so common that I wonder what's going on in their heads. An uncle got lost about 10 years ago and was found near his old house trying to find his keys by a neighbour who had known him. Others aren't so fortunate. maaji's husband got lost 5 years ago going to the local library and hasn't been seen since. While we were looking for him, I saw dozens of posters with photographs of other lost old peopleon buses, in stations, busstands, poles. It's always before a rainstorm. I wonder what goes on in the mind as we grow senile - is senile anxiety something magnetic?

I want Oldie back. If I'm looking it's because I can't do otherwise.
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Maybe they mean he'll come back? Old dogs often get turned around when lost and come right back to where they started. (maybe the magnetic lines change and they stop feeling driven in the wrong direction).

Or maybe that I'm just not the best person to be searching for him. Because I've been searching all day and feeding all the runaways that I'm seeing and not getting far.

I just hope he stops and gets taken care of. And that he won't cross roads and gets back ok. His sister did the same a year and a half ago and he's taken off twice before but we found him. Fingers crossed.
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No sign of him anywhere. His sister vanished completely like this a year ago when she began having convulsions of senile distemper (Jun or July?) as the monsoons set in. Looks like a repeat, except where could they have gone to die?

I haven't been able to do more than control and slow that condition with homeopathy. The convulsions stop then restart with the next storm brewing. And I hadn't spent as much time with them as is needed for Reiki. This is the problem of taking care of many - when the suffering is weather related or environmental, you have too many on your hands to do justice to any.


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